Quotes
MEMENTO
"Maybe its time you started investigating yourself!"
"Its beer o'clock, and im buyin!"
"Ya know, I've had more rewarding relationships... but at least I can keep telling the same jokes."
THE MATRIX
"I know what you're thinking, 'cause right now I'm thinking the same thing. Actually, I've been thinking it ever since I got here: Why oh why didn't I take the BLUE pill?"
"It means buckle your seatbelt, Dorothy, 'cause Kansas is going bye-bye."
"Ignorance is bliss!"
BAD BOYS
"Ho, what did I say? Did you hear what I said? I heard what I said 'cause I was standing there when I said it."
[Captain Howard (Joey)] Until then, until then, you are Mike Lowery, you be him, that's what you are, you're him!
[Marcus Burnett] But I---
[Captain Howard] You're him, I don't wanna hear it, you're him! And you, you're you, you be you, but not in front of her. You're him, you're you.
THE IN CROWD
"You know I... I talk to my teens about love, and I always say "This crazy thing called love, it makes you laugh, it makes you cry...but hey, man, it's what makes the world go 'round." Now, dying for love? Whoa! That's too momentous! I mean it's good for the books, but not for teens. Now, on the other hand, there's nothing wrong with a teen king or a teen queen FEELING like you could die for love. That way, you'd cherish every dance and you'd never waste a kiss."
EL DIABLO
(while dying) "You know...your ruining a perfectly good scarf."
CONGO
"Whoa! A talking gorilla! I feel the little money hairs on the back of my neck standing up goin 'Whoo whooo whooooooo'!"
"I dont provide assholes with new personalities."
"I'm never going back to that country. Those people have permanently wigged out!"
NATURAL ENEMY
(his toddler son just gave a woman a kiss) "Aww! Daddy's turn!"
RISKY BUSINESS
"Did you look on the choo choo? I heard she likes choo choos."
TALES FROM THE CRYPT
"Who's gunna suspect me? After all, i'll die right along with you."
LIFE BEFORE THIS
"You like your kitchen, dont you? Do you love it? I wanted you to love it. I probably spent way more than i should have. I didnt want to disappoint you. Your very materialistic, arent you?"
RUNNING SCARED
"You gotta arrest my ass!!"
"His boss had an accident. He fell on a knife 4 times."
OLIVE, THE OTHER REINDEER
"I'll root for you on Court TV!"
"I've known reindeer. Reindeer were friends of mine. You, Olive, are no reindeer."
"I think the waitress likes me"
personal quotes
"At 17, I had a third-grade reading level. I was headed for a life as a dope dealer or a crook. Then I discovered acting. Whaddaya know? I could play drug dealers and crooks."
[about his charactor in OLIVE, THE OTHER REINDEER] "I dont talk like that in real life. I have a very deep booming voice! Who am i kidding? No i dont."
THE TAXMAN
[friend refuses to change clothes in the back seat] "What? Are you afraid i'll like...get turned on or something? Are you afraid i think your a pillow biter? ...Im just saying, it wouldnt bother me if you WERE gay!"
"So, uh, a blow job is out of the question?"
THE LAST WORD
[after being asked why he has a gun] "heh heh, I WANNA ROB A BANK!!"
[after Marty asked him why he wont leave] "Because im nothing without Marty. And Marty, is nothing without me."
BABY'S DAY OUT
[reading to the baby] " 'They went to the Department Store, where there were many things to buy.' ....or STEAL, if i was writin this book."
NYPD Blue
"Tonight im gunna dream about where your hiding that mic."
"Im very big in Conneticut...." *wink wink*
Cats & Dogs
"He should take an anger management class."
"Oh like we havent heard THAT a thousand times. Hey guys, how about--okay okay sorry sorry!!"
[about humans] "You have to remember, they're a very primative species. Cant sense earthquakes, cant smell fear...heck..they cant even take responsiblity for their own farts."